It’s not a condiment; it’s a beverage. If it doesn't have ranch on it, is it even food?
You don't just leave. You have to do the 'Midwest Goodbye.' It starts with a thigh-slap and a 'Welp, I suppose...' then you talk in the doorway for 45 minutes, then you talk by the car for another 20. mads.nakey midwestthangs.mp4
We don't have hobbies; we have the weather. 'It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.' Or, 'We really needed this rain.' It’s not a condiment; it’s a beverage
We don’t use miles. Everything is measured in time. 'How far is it?' 'Oh, about twenty minutes.' Ope, see ya later then!" It’s not a condiment